vignettes

True nature

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him." —The Hobbit

I live between worlds: the artistic and the analytical, the rich and the poor, the old and the young. I am, and always have been, somewhere in between. Which means I am much more comfortable living on the edges of society, than living in its center. I find comfort and safety in the unknown, rather than the assumed, conventional, or expected.

I am more comfortable here. In this space that relies on self recognition and self worth, rather than the often biased judgment of others. This is how I create safe space. This is how I honor who I am.

When you know your true nature, life gets a lot easier. Everything is a little bit simpler, a little more clear. We are better able to draw boundaries, inviting the right people in, and keeping the not-so-right people out. Because life is just too short to compromise.

What stands between who you are, and who you could be?

Why we love the underdog

"It's only after we've lost everything, that we're free to do anything." —Tyler Durden, Fight Club

I love the underdog. And I know I'm not alone.

Some of the most famous and beloved stories are based on the triumphs and tragedies of the outranked, the disenfranchised, the social misfits: David and Goliath, Oliver Twist, Rudolph. These stories are translated and shared around the world, and passed from generation to generation, because they hold in them a universal desire—we all want to believe that good will ultimately win, no matter the odds.

And while the made-up stories entertain and inspire us, it is the true story that actually gives us hope, for it provides evidence of something that feels very much like a miracle, telling us that we, too, can author our own possibilities: James J. Braddock (The Cinderella Man). Robert Kearns (Flash of Genius). Ernest Shackleton (The Endurance). Susan Boyle (Britain's Got Talent). Barack Obama (President of the United States).

We love the underdog because they take the risks that we won't. Inspired from within, they demonstrate extreme levels of courage, braving the unexpected and making themselves vulnerable to other people's judgment and ridicule. They fight the good fight, and they will continue fighting long after we've all gone home. They do this because they believe that what they have to gain is far greater than what they have to lose.

Security can be a double-edged sword. The more we have, it seems, the more we're afraid to lose. Whereas the underdog is motivated by love (of an idea), the rest of us are motivated by fear (of failure).

What motivates you?

Man, tool, or fool?

"You must either make a tool of the creature, or a man of him. You cannot make both." —John Ruskin

In 1974, Philippe Petit, a lithe and nimble Frenchman, did the unthinkable—he rigged and walked a tightrope between the two towers of the World Trade Center. After years of pondering and preparation, he gave his childhood dream flesh and bones, made it a reality, and shared it with the rest of us. Thirty five years later, the towers are gone, but the story of the man on the wire remains.

In life, we admire those who live on the edge and beyond our reach. Their actions fuel our imagination, and awaken us to the tightrope we could walk, or the windmill we would conquer, if we only gave ourselves the permission (and room) to express our freedom.

In living our lives, our dreams can easily get displaced by the dreams of those around us: our children, our spouses, our family, friends, and employers. Habit and duty settle in and make us forget that our dreams matter, too. And that's when we must ask ourselves if, while helping someone else live their dream, we do it at the expense of our own.

Whose dream are you living?

Little cowboy

We all have dreams. It's the one thing that makes each of us human, young and old alike. It's what allows Plato to develop the system of reason and logic, Einstein to discover the theory of relativity, and Madonna to become a world-famous "material girl." As a society, we rely on dreamers to propel us forward. Without them, life would be little more than a giant to-do list designed to keep us busy and distracted until we die. 

Dreams can last a minute, or a lifetime. The question is, what makes a dream stick? 

Last weekend my 6-year old nephew had a dream. He dreamed of a belt buckle. And for the second year in a row he put on his blue-checked cotton shirt, his black vinyl riding chaps, and a cowboy hat autographed by two bull-riding champions, and bravely clutched the fur of a startled lamb for all of three seconds. While three whole seconds didn't earn him "the" buckle, it did earn him a small stuffed bull. It also earned him a place in my heart. For having a dream and for putting himself out there, risking a mouth full of rodeo dirt for the possibility of winning a square piece of metal.

What did you dream about when you were young?